I Did It For Love
by HopefulMe
Summary: Growing up, Harry's life has been full of losses. Now that the war is over, what is left for him?


**I Did It for Love**

_**Summary**_**:**_ Growing up, Harry's life has been full of losses. Now that the war is over, what is left for him?_

Mister Harry James Potter was not proud to say that he was broken. The war had ended with the fall of Voldemort, almost all death-eaters had been caught and the remaining was soon to be caught. He had stood by the side-line watching his friends reunite with their families. Almost everyone had lost someone, a sibling, a parent or in some cases a friend. Some were still terrified and facing the possibility of losing more loved ones. Harry Potter, were one of the very few who had lost everyone. His parents, his godfather, the people that he had considered being his family were gone. Standing by the side, he had been forced to accept that what Ron had told him was true. He had no family; the Weasley's weren't his family. His family had been killed. One single tear ran down his cheek, soon followed by more. They ran down from his eyes, on his cheeks and down towards the bed. The bed which hadn't been slept in since Sirius lived there. It felt as if someone had punched him in the gut thinking about Sirius. He suddenly found it incredibly hard to breathe and closed his eyes. As if believing that would numb his pain. So many had died for him, so many people had sacrificed their lives in order for him to live. Every now and then he would question why, as he did now. Why did they decide to give up their lives for him? Did none of them consider the fact that he would be all alone once his task was complete?

He faintly heard the sound of footsteps coming from the first floor. Yet he didn't move. Harry's legs were spread out, one of his feet lying on the pillow. One of his arms was used for supporting his head and the other were lying over his forehead, allowing free passage for his tears.

The door creaked slightly as it was pushed open, but no one said anything. Ron or Hermione, he thought. Probably Hermione since Ron, as she had so nicely put it, had the emotional capability of a tea-spoon.

"Hi, Harry." The gentle, somewhat airy voice of Luna Lovegood was not what Harry had expected. He glanced at her, making sure that it was really her, yet not responding. "I thought I'd find Ron and Hermione here as well."

A fist in the gut, that's how he had felt upon hearing that. Luna hadn't meant to hurt him, Harry was sure of that. Yet it did hurt being reminded that he was all alone. He already had the thoughts to haunt him; he didn't need Luna to remind him.

"Well they're not." He responded quietly, his voice sounding strained as the tears kept flowing down his eyes. He didn't try to hide them. He couldn't hide the tears, he couldn't hide the pain. Maybe from everyone else but not from Luna; she was different.

"You really shouldn't cry so much." She said as she gazed around the room, gently moving her hand down the wooden door. "It'll attract the …"

"I don't really give a fuck right now, Luna." Harry said interrupting her.

"I know you're hurting." Harry suddenly felt angry. He sat up in the bed glaring at her as he waited for her to continue. In the weak light coming from behind Luna, her hair looked almost completely white. Her skin was paler than usual making the bruises and the cuts appear clearer than normal. "But it's over now. Voldemort is gone."

"Fuck that." Harry could practically feel his blood boiling inside of him. Yet he spoke silently and soft instead of screaming. "That's not true and you know it. The hard part starts now. I lost everything when I was fighting him. I have no one left, Luna. Do you have any idea what that feels like? I have no one!"

The last sentence came out in a scream. Too tortured to be considered human, yet too human to be considered animalistic. Luna winced, for the first time she didn't know what to say.

"You have us. I'm serious, Harry." Harry rolled his eyes, drying the tears with one hand. She hurriedly walked over to the bed and sat down next to him. Gently, as if she was afraid that she would spook him, she took his hand in her own. "You have Hermione, Ron, Ginny, me, Neville and so many others."

He looked her straight in the eyes. Those words were meant to be comforting, yet he felt nothing. His heart didn't ache a little less his tears didn't stop running and the world maintained the horrible place it had been just a moment ago. In a slow motion he moved his hand from hers and got up from the bed. Slowly he began walking around. The more he saw of the room the more it reminded him of Sirius. For a moment it felt as if something were holding his heart in an iron grip and the pain only got worse.

"What about my mum?" he asked after a while, the pain in his voice ever so clear. Striking the silence, deafening and defeating all arguments Luna might have had thought of. "What about my dad, my godfather, my uncle, my grandparents? What about my entire family?"

"I'm sorry they died, Harry." Luna whispered, unsure of what she was supposed to say. "They did it for you. They died because they all love you and wanted you to have a life."

Harry laughed sarcastically.

"That was very rude of them." He muttered, not meaning for Luna to hear it.

He closed his eyes and leaned his forehead onto the wall. His fists tightened until they almost hurt. Many times before Harry had stood in a situation where he found that he had no clue what he was supposed to do. Almost always he managed to find a way, most of the time he had hope that everything would be alright. At this very moment however, he had no clue. And it didn't feel as if it was going to get better any time soon.

"I don't want to do this anymore, Luna." Harry whispered. "I can't do this anymore."

He opened his eyes and walked towards the window. He had fulfilled his purpose; he had done what he had been told to. No one could blame him for giving up now, right?

"What are you doing?" Harry vaguely heard Luna's voice in the midst of the sound of his own thoughts.

Would it hurt? _Sirius had told him no_. Would there be a bright life? Would he be seeing his life flash before his eyes? _Harry wasn't sure that he wanted there to be._ He wasn't aware of the fact that he had opened the window. He didn't hear the sound of distress on Luna's voice as she asked him again what he was doing. He wasn't even aware of what he was doing until he found himself falling. It felt .. nice, no it felt wonderful. For a brief period he floated through the air, it was almost the same sensation he would get when flying his broom. He closed his eyes, welcoming the physical pain as it numbed everything else. He welcomed the darkness, as he lost consciousness.


End file.
